B Y RYAN HORVATH
Ryan gets real
Dear Ryan,
See, I have this friend. He has this flaw where he thinks he is a total playboy. The problem is he’s not, at all. He is constantly cock-blocking me at parties thinking he has a better chance, its getting old. I figure somebody needs to tell him the truth, so my question is how do I tell my friend that he is not as popular with the ladies as he thinks? -Frustrated Friend
Dear Frustrated Friend,
I know where you’re coming from. I know people just like your friend. They are difficult to be around because when you see them walk up to talk to a girl you know the most arrogant/ignorant string of words is about to come out. Its almost sickening, but hilarious. I’m an avid people watcher and I love being near people like your friend. Girls can smell that kind of thing from a mile away and usually have a great getaway planned as soon as he smiles/smirks in their direction. There is no easy way to tell a friend that they are, in fact, a dud not a stud. I recommend you point out the level of unattractiveness of the ladies he had slept with in the past or how long it has been since his last conjugal encounter. After a long time of bringing this up repeatedly they will slow down their foolish behavior. Plus, it will look go for them in the long run because they might actually find a respectable female.
Ryan
Dear Ryan,
I can’t even begin to tell you how much I hate Delicate Balance. It sucks the life out of my through my eyes. I think this question is impossible and has no good answer but I’ll ask it again. Why do I have to take Delicate Balance? -G-Damn Delicate
Dear G-Damn Delicate,
Good question! The answer is there is no reason for anyone to take Delicate Balance ever. It is basically a freshman level composition class for seniors. It is not quite easy enough to be a blow-off A so that is frustrating. Also the whole idea of getting seniors involved in a community that they will soon be leaving is a total joke. Why not make that a part of Images, or Voices. Delicate is at best a life lesson. It tells you that you will have to do stupid meaningless work for the rest of your life. And in many cases work surrounded by people that are utterly incompetent. I cannot stand that class and see no damn reason to take it.
Ryan
