Getting real with Ryan

[Editor’s Note: Ryan is in no way qualified to give advice of any kind. He’s just a regular guy trying to get his ducks in a line.]

Dear Ryan,
“It has been 7 years now and I’ve been on and off trying to quit cigarettes. I really want to quit. Do you have any suggestions for a habitual smoker trying to quit?” -Smoked Out
Hey bud I’m with you. Been trying the same thing for a while. The thing that has worked best for me was to be stranded out in the wilderness. I really wanted to smoke, but 200 miles were between me and the next 7-11. So that will work for a while, but eventually you need get some food. So, to be honest with you I’m not sure. Try the patch or the gum. They both suck and we both know they are not like huffing down some old-fashioned tobacco.

Dear Ryan,
“I have an embarrassing problem. I haven’t been able to ‘go to the bathroom’ for the past 5 days! What are your best constipation remedies?” -Poopless in Poultney
OK, this is one I can handle. I have dealt with this same problem for years! If you are in a real pinch go with a cigarette and a cup of coffee. That works a lot of the time, but does not necessarily give you the most satisfying dump. If you really wanna get rid of the good stuff eat every meal of the week at Chartwells.
Have a pressing issue? Email Getting real with Ryan at ryanhorvath7@gmail.com

Short URL: http://www.themountaineer.org/?p=1257

Posted by Ryan Horvath on Feb 4, 2010 Filed under Entertainments. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. You can leave a response or trackback to this entry