Getting real with Ryan
Ryan gets real
by Ryan Horvath
[Editor’s Note: Ryan is in no way qualified to give advice of any kind. He’s just a regular guy trying to complete his court-appointed community service.]
Dear Ryan,
I have a friend who lives with his girlfriend and their room smells like gross cheese. Sometimes I cannot breathe in their room and need to stand in the doorway. I went in the other day and there were all these gross finger and big yellow toenail clippings. I almost puked from that and the cheese smell. What should I do? I tell them to open the window, but they don’t listen to me. -Concerned Carl
Dear Carl,
You have to accept the fact that it is not your journey. Its really not worth getting upset about, but I understand where you are coming from. There is this guy down the hall from me that lets off the most noxious farts. He even comes into my room just to fart. I’ve been telling him has to stop, but he never listens to me either. So I’ve been leaving cartons of milk in his ceiling, just wait until May! He can open the window all he wants, but that smell ain’t going anywhere.
Dear Ryan,
I have a real problem and I hope you can help me. I’m not a fan of these cold winter months, but I love to smoke cigarettes. It is bad enough that I can’t huddle against the side of my building to avoid the wind because of the new smoking policy; but to be fair I don’t want to go outside to smoke at all. So my question is how do I get away with smoking cigarettes in my room? -Bummed in Bogue
Dear Bummed,
Okay first off I’m not condoning your desire to smoke in your room. Having said that here what I think. First, you need to be aware of your surroundings: do you live near the RA, are your neighbors whiners, where will the smoke drift after it goes out the window, and can someone see you in your window? Certain rooms on campus are just not ideal for smoking and you might need to scrap the plan. Second, your big problem is going to be airflow. You are often in better luck if you do not towel the door (despite popular belief) because it allows for warm inside air to flow out your window. A candle or smoke from incense can be used to test airflow. Third, you need to get a window fan try to get one with an exhaust function; if that is not possible then at least make sure it is blowing out not sucking in. During the smoking process keep the cig right next to the fan and blow all smoke right into it. A lit incense will help with any smell that may escape. Remember this is not a fool proof plan and can still result in getting caught so lower the odds against you by not partying in your room at the time you are smoking. And remember kids other things you might smoke tend to smell more.
Have a pressing issue? Email Ryan at ryanhorvath7@gmail.com
Short URL: http://www.themountaineer.org/?p=1369
Posted by Ryan Horvath
on Feb 23, 2010 Filed under Entertainments.
You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0.
You can leave a response or trackback to this entry
